Sometimes, life happens and you lose your desire to continue things you once loved. Over the past year and a half, my life has turned upside down and where I am sitting at this moment is not a place I ever imagined. Since I was last posting regularly, I have moved three times, changed jobs twice, ended a relationship that was a centerpiece of this blog, broke down, got the fuck back up.
I miss this place.
Do you mind if I share somethings that happened?
I fell in love.
While no love is perfect, it is astonishing to me how I could find a person who filled the holes that had grown in me. He makes me want more for myself and for us. He challenges me in a way that I never imagined was possible. He drives me crazy. He makes me laugh harder than I ever had. He is gentle and strong. He is handsome as hell and intensely hard working. He makes me smile at just the thought of him. He literally is my person.
I got my dream job.
I finally got the balls to apply to a fancy downtown hotel I never believed would look twice at me. Well, surprise, they hired me. While it is still work, it is something I am passionate about and I am thrilled to have this challenge. I am also exhausted from it but hey, that’s adult life, no?
I made a new amazing circle of friends.
I lucked into this amazing community of people that I never dreamed of knowing. They are all so different and so awesome. They have welcomed me in and made me one of their own. They are fun, intensely caring and people I plan on keeping around.
I realized existing group of friends were a fiercely loyal and loving group.
You know, it sucks that it happens this way. But when my world fell apart around me, my friends rallied and protected me. They picked me up and cheered as I stood on my own two feet. You guys are the light of my life. <3
I broke down again.
For whatever reason, the old friends, new friends, wonderful love and great job weren’t enough. I was just fucking angry. I felt like I had come so far to be knocked the back down on my ass. I had started over, and it was looking extremely bright but it wasn’t enough for me. It felt lonely and dark. While I don’t feel 100%, I am starting to feel more positive. Hence the epic (lol…) return.
All of these things caused me to lose sight of this special place I created and the community I was part of. But now, I am settled and focused. I am anxious to bring Denim and Daydreams back to life. I am eager to bring myself 100% back to life. Not for the followers or the likes but for the outlet. I want to have my creative space back so here I am. If you are still out there, I am excited to ‘see’ you. I haven’t stopped following you all and I hope we can connect again. I can’t promise this will be the same place it was. I do promise I will be writing more. Being more honest. And of course, the lifestyle and fashion parts that are a part of me will be here. So, let’s do this.